Leave it to KFC to come up with the Frankenfood of 2024. May I present, KFC’s Chizza.
WTIF is a Chizza? Let me let KFC explain. From their website:
“(T)his fried chicken pizza combination includes 2 of our Extra Crispy boneless chicken filets topped with savory marinara sauce, gooey mozzarella cheese, and a kick of pepperoni.”
We all know no fast food looks anywhere quite as nice as its picture. (I’m looking at you McDonald’s). I can’t wait for food blogs, like The Takeout, to review and take pictures of the actual product. Because if that photo is the best-case scenario, I can’t imagine how it will turn out at my local KFC.
Since I, Omnibus is a human, this blog is not created by Artificial Intelligence (AI). This blog is generated by Actual Stupidity (AS). So I conducted a thought experiment, and said, “AS, please create a blog post that an AI would think was written by I, Omnibus.” So here is my impression of an AI impression of me.
Today, I received an email from WordPress. They are proud to tell me that they have added AI into their repertoire. They are “excited to introduce the Jetpack AI Assistant—an all-new tool to help you polish, proof, and prepare content for publishing. This versatile writing aide is found right inside the WordPress.com editor, readily available at all times to make your creative process smoother and more efficient.”
I am here to tell you that I shall not and will not use this widget on this blog. The words posted on this blog, unless otherwise noted as quotes, or written by a guest author, are 100% my own. The opinions expressed here are my own. This blog is in the writing camp of Mark Twain & Ernest Hemmingway, in which I mean that I write in the I speak in real life. What you read here is exactly the way I would converse with you face-to-face. (Or over the phone, or in a video conference, etc.) This is also why I desperately need a proofreader.
I see the writing on the wall. I see where AI assistance can come in handy. But I’m not doing my blog for the views or the SEO. In a country (and social media) that has been hijacked by the lunatic fringe, I will remain an iconoclast from both the mainstream and the radical conspiracy theorists. That being said, if you read something on social media, or any website that seems like it was something I wrote, chances are: (1) I’m being plagiarized by a creatively lazy and bankrupt influencer; or (2) an AI app has incorporated this blog into its algorithm and also using my words uncredited.
The I, Omnibus blog (iomnibus.wordpress.com) is not a side hustle. It is not a vainglorious attempt for internet fame. It is my legacy. It is my reflection of me staring at the abyss. This is me when I’m off the clock. This is me when I’m off the grid. I am a GenXer; I grew up on WYSIWYG. Perhaps I am fated to be one of the last of the Wysiwygers. That’s probably why you are here. If so, I hope you stick around. I thank you. Now back to my usual rants and ramblings.
“If you make sure you’re connected The writing’s on the wall But if your mind’s neglected Stumble you might fall”
Stereo MC’s – “Connected”
It is foolish to believe that websites will remain static when technology evolves every other day. This goes double for social media platforms. I’m not just talking about aesthetics or efficiency. I am specifically referring to the site’s original mission statement. A highly publicized change in ownership is an obvious and clearly visible sign for the (d)evolution of the website FKA Twitter. In a more quiet and subtle manner, LinkedIn has entered a similar downward spiral. Instead of being the professional alternative to Facebook, the 2023 version of LinkedIn has morphed into a slightly less toxic version of Meta.
“When I get to the bottom I go back / To the top of the slide / And I stop and I turn and I go for a ride / And I get to the bottom and I see you again”
Paul McCartney (Lennon-McCartney), “Helter Skelter”
If anyone wants make a YouTube video on these Power Rankings, please ask ahead of time.
The title says it all. No preamble necessary
“Helter Skelter” Power Rankings
S-Tier: The Beatles
A-Tier: Aerosmith, Mötley Crüe, Pat Benatar
B-Tier: The Dead Daisies
C-Tier: U2, Siousxie and the Banshees
D-Tier: Oasis, Rob Zombie + Marilyn Manson, Soundgarden
F(U)-Tier: Charles Manson
If I have missed any other covers, please mention them in the comments.
The name Elvin is a great name. Yes, I said that. In an age of giving your children names with alternate spelling (e.g.: βЃα¥dÖÑ) or ones that are too clever by half, (e.g.: Blitzø – but the “ø” is silent), it’s time to go back to the old school. Instead of naming your son Legolas, why not choose a name that is one letter different from something made by Legolas and his kin? The problem is that Elvin has never been a popular name. And that needs to change! The heyday of Elvin is apparently the late 1940s, because most Elvins on this list came to prominence during the 1970s. Unless you are really into Azerbaijani soccer football, you probably don’t know that many people named Elvin. Don’t fear, I’m here to help. Without further ado, here is my list of the Who’s Who of Who again?
“Day after day, day after day, we stuck, no breath nor motion As idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean Water, water everywhere and all the boards did shrink Water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink”
Iron Maiden – “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”
In the current era of Tik Tok, Autotune, and numerous online apps like Soundtrap and Autotune, anyone can create their own music without knowing anything about music theory, reading sheet music, how to play an instrument, or even how to sing on key. Of course, removing the limitations to the creative process has resulted in such creatively limited output. We are two decades removed from “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand – a song with three separate hooks. Never mind having a song with a second hook; we’re lucky if we can even get a second verse.
One of the many limited characteristics of modern pop music is in length. I won’t take the low-hanging fruit and call it a blessing. We have looped back to the early days of rock and roll, where record company executives and radio disc jockeys preferred, nee demanded songs to be under 3 minutes long. I suppose that means we are two decades away for the epic raga to make a comeback.
I, Omnibus 